Of course, the months or weeks leading to a new relationship and even the early stages of it would be filled with questions and observations and other ways of trying to know each other more and familiarize yourselves with each other.
Of all the necessary conversations to have, the one about sex might be one of the most awkward ones. And it won’t be surprising if one or both partners feel a little reluctant or reticent on the subject.
Regardless of the awkwardness that may be associated with the conversation, it is one that definitely needs to be had particularly if the relationship is meant to be a sexual one.
So, how do you go about having this conversation?
Ease them into the conversation
In a culture where people almost always feel guarded, offended and some-type-of-way hearing sexual topics or discussing sex, it is important to be tactful about your approach to the subject, especially that first time.
It won’t be strange if your partner needs a little time to go all the way in; if they want to take their time to open up completely.
You don’t expect them to unpack and unload all on you in just one conversation. So while it is important to be tactful in beginning the conversation, that same finesse has to be carried into the conversation too. Don’t probe when they obviously don’t want to talk about a certain thing or two.
Give it time.
Sexual relationship or not?
The fact that you are talking about sex does not mean the relationship would be a sexual one. People dating are expected to talk about any and everything so far it helps them know each other better and understand the inner workings of each other’s minds.
So, on the off chance that you did not have the conversation before you became official, the early days of that relationship is the best time to establish whether this is to be a sexual relationship or not, or if one of you would require a little time before feeling cool enough to have sex.
Ask for their preferences
This goes without saying. If it is going to be a sexual relationship, you want to know what they expect from you. What are the special sexual needs particular to them, what are the things that make sex rock for them? These are things you really want to ask and know.
And of course, implement.
The effects of the father’s touch in the upbringing of children have always been undermined, while mothers, right from time have been given the trophy of the most important parent. Mother-children and father-son bonds have always been acknowledged, appreciated and openly talked about. But what about father-daughter relationship? That has been put on the pedestrian. That is, it is seen as important for a woman to have a good bond with her children(male and female) and for a father to have a good bond with his son, but the relationship between a father and daughter is not seem as important.
Being a mother takes lot of work, but being a father shouldn’t be a peanut task. A father is expected to form a good and healthy relationship with his children because his involvement in their lives has a profound effect in their overall growth. A good father’s work is endless and oftentimes thankless, but the end result shows in the well behaved children he raises. But despite the glory given to motherhood, we still see a high number of emotional distraught females who grew up with no active fatherly involvement in their lives. This is to say that daddies matter. Some father’s themselves are unaware of their importance in their daughters’ lives. Many see the relationship between a girl with her father as unimportant as the relationship between a girl and her mother. The fact is, for both boys and girls, the type of relationship they share with their opposite sex parents. The fact is, for both boys and girls, the type of relationship they share with their opposite sex parents has a very deep connection to whether they would grow up to be fulfilled, happy, serene and healthy individuals.
Due to the low level of publicity given to the influence of fathers in their daughters’ lives, recent researches have gone a long way to checking and explaining the importance of a father in his daughter’s life. According to research, teenage girls who are close to their fathers are less likely to become sexually active and these girls are twice as likely to stay in school of their fathers are involved in their lives. That is to say, a father’s active involvement in his daughter’s life is vital to her health and well-being. Daughters who grow up without father’s grow to be sexually precarious and precociously destructive as an adult.
It is highly believed that a daughter tends to be attracted or married to someone just like her father. According to a study, women from a divorced home are more likely to shun short term relationship. According to a study, women from a divorced home are more likely to shun short term relationship and are more cautious when going into a new relationship than their peers whose parents are together.
- A father is the first male contact in his daughter’s life. He is the first man she bonds with. Her idea of the opposite sex is moulded with the level of interaction she has with him. A female child watches her dad with eagle eyes, she observed everything he does, how he related with her mother, her siblings, his neighbors and even pets. The conclusion of her overall observation is what she adopts in her own relationship and eventually into marriage. His interaction with her sets her up on how she is going to relate with other men.
- A female child wants her fathers to be her protector. He is viewed as a leader, provider and the most powerful person in the world. An absentee father leaves his daughter emotional immature and vulnerable to the whims of sexual predators and other social vices.
- Females are more affectionate and they mostly love to be affectionate to the opposite sex. An active minded father would receive the affection of his daughter and prevents her from falling into the trap of men who might take advantage of her affection and ruin her outward look concerning men. Because a dad is the daughter’s first man and first love, he is regarded as the most important man in her life. Females who grow up as hard-hearted women are like that probably because of the absence of a father’s affection in their lives.
Fathers have a tremendous power over their daughters. Fathers have a tremendous power over their daughters and they play the most important role in building their daughters as confident and happy women. A father’s involvement or lack thereof in the life of his daughter has an effect in her long term relationship, view of the opposite sex, sexuality, body image, social skills and academic goals. With this knowledge, fathers are to be on the move to mend and reconstruct broken relationships with their daughters in order to save them from the overall effect of the lack of an active father’s love.