Love, Sex and Marriage: how far we have come


The talk on love, sex and marriage is not a novel issue. In fact, these three are one of the most controversial topics on the forefront for past decades. Sex talk has caused so many debates and it has evolved through centuries. Is sex a prerequisite for romantic involvement or should be kept for married couples only? is love a requirement for sex? Are love and sex the driving forces of today’s marriages.

When it comes to popular view especially on the contentious sex topic, it would be concluded that sex is no longer seen as that sacred act between married couples.

In Africa at large, while stances on extramarital affairs have not changed, the percentage saying sex between an unmarried man and woman is morally acceptable has increased drastically over the years.

Q: How should these be arranged?, 2019

Despite the rapid increase in premarital sex, just 16.67% said that “anyone in a sexual relationship should end up in marriage”, the remaining 83.33% says people in sexual relationship are not likely to end up in marriage. The difference between the percentages are alarming. Is this an indication of the increase in moral decadence and the decrease of the the uprightness in the institution of marriage?

Further evidence of the impact of the sexual revolution appears in the sharp increase in the sexual activeness of single persons. The survey shows large majority (85.71%) of respondents as singles who are sexually active, while the remaining 14.29% as being in a relationship.

Nigeria is a country that practises 3 important religions. Two of these, Christianity and Islam which are the most practised, frown on premarital sex but despite the religion fanatism against fornication, the youths are in no way ready to adhere to religious teachings that preach against sex before marriage. According to the survey, strong majority still believes that all sexual relationship should necessarily not lead into marriage. We have passed that era where marriage was seen as the ultimate destination. Now, sex is seen as the ‘go’ thing.

Celibacy/virginity era may be passing fleetingly and people’s view on sex may have changed dramatically, but it will be fascinating to see the transformation in opinion the next phase of evolution in sexual morals would bring.

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