In Nigeria, before the civil war, virgins were praised and held in high esteem. There are festivities attached to the deflowering of a bride by her husband. A woman without her hymen intact is sent back in shame to her father’s house, or the groom gives half of the full dowry he was supposed to bring. This view was held so long that women born without hymen had to endure brutalities and shame.
From the above illustration, it would be noted that our historical and cultural background lay emphasis on the female gender. Why? If females are to be virgins, why can’t males? In our world today, promiscuity has been forked into two- when a man sleeps around, he is hailed by all and sundry and called a lady’s man, but if this same case is applied to a woman, she is called a loose moral fellow and a prostitute. Are we not been unfair?
Virginity should be preached and encouraged between both sexes. No gender should have the upper hand on this. If women are to remain virgins until marriage, then men are too. This is not on a feminist basis, it is based on logic and sane facts.
A single father with a child(ren) out of wedlock is praised for being a fitting and dedicated father, but a single mother is hissed at and called names. If men can be allowed to go out and sow their wild oat, the females should also be given space to do what they want with their body. Enough breathing space should be given to women.
This virginity issue should be redressed in every home. Virginity goes for the two genders. Now, let us look at it this way, if the masculine gender agrees to keep it in their pant, there won’t be anything like unwanted pregnancies, STD or other form of sexual stigmatisation.
To those practising celibacy, thumps up. That is one important step in having a meaningful relationship where both partner respects and trust each other’s decision. A woman or man should not be scorned or made jest of for being a virgin or for wanting to remain celibate until marriage.
We have transcend to that era where virginity and celibacy are seen as a disease and hidden like a terrible secret. Women who have the vow of virginity and celibacy until marriage are sometimes scared of going into relationships for fear of what their partner would say if their intention to being virgins or celibate till marriage is reviewed. There is clause going all around that if we were to remain virgins until marriage, we would have been given our vaginas and penises on our wedding night. This is so ludicrous and hilarious. We have been given the power of choice because we are rational, free thinking beings. You can choose whether to do it the right way or not.
To those who have determined to keep themselves until marriage, continue the good work. This is the safest way to avoid the contraction of deadly diseases roaming around. Virginity is not a disease, it is not a crime; and it is not for the female sex alone.