It’s the wish of most to be in a healthy and loving relationship. But there comes a time when you crave to be alone without the attachment that comes with being in a relationship or when you are not just plainly interested in that person.
Saying ‘no’ to a romantic prospect is normal and not ‘wicked’. Contrary to popular belief, rejecting someone sucks more than being rejected. It’s not everyone who approaches with the mindset of dating you that you accept. When you say ‘no’, you show your independent spirit and a mindset that knows what she wants.
Rejecting a date combines the environment, circumstances and an iota of white lie. In order not to hurt the feelings of your admirer and not to appear snobbish, your rejection should come out very polite and friendly.
HOW TO POLITELY REJECT AN ADMIRER
- Simply say ‘no’: this is the most straightforward and matured way to rejecting a romantic proposal. You just have to tell the truth that you are not interested in that person. This will prevent you from hurting his feelings further. The limitation to this is that, the admirer might be a sour loser, he might receive your rejection violently and take his anger on you.
- “I am in love with someone else”: admit to the person that you like someone else. It might be a lie or the truth, you are only saying that because you do not want the person to feel bad. If your admirer eventually sees you with someone else, he might conclude that person to be the ‘love’ you were talking about.
- Use your career or academics as an excuse: say you are at the brink of a very important journey in your career or academics and you do not see yourself going into a relationship at that moment or in the future. I have used this approach severally, trust me, it works like magic. Unfortunately, you cannot use this excuse for a colleague or course mate because of the obvious.
- Say your friend has a crush on him/her: like the very good friend, you simply can’t date someone your friend is interested in. If it comes to you revealing the name of your friend, you simply say you cannot betray the confidence of your friend.
- Say you do not want to use him/her as a rebound: the word ‘rebound’ makes so many people recoil from relationships. No one wants to be used as an antidote for a relationship wound, well, except from some selected few. So, tell your admirer that you have just come out from a relationship and you are not emotional prepared to go into another one.
- Say you are already in a relationship: this is a major turn-off. People respect those who can boldly say they are in a relationship when faced with another romantic prospect. But, we still have those who are not easily deterred even if you say you are already married. Those kind of people should be avoided at all cost.
THE WRONG WAY TO REJECT A ROMANTIC PROPOSAL
- Avoidance: outrightly avoiding the person is not a good way to rejecting a date. Not only are you prolonging the issue, you are also giving that person a baseless hope which might condense to a bigger problem on the long run.
- Acceptance without commitment: you smile when he approaches you and collects whatever he buys for you but you are not interested. You have rejected his dates but he keeps bringing things and you keep collecting it without the intention of dating him. This is not a good way to show that you are not interested in someone. He keeps on coming because he thinks he has a chance of winning your heart.
- Turning those guys into friends: this might work out in the end, but it’s not the safest approach. What about when you start dating someone else, he might become envious and resentful towards you and your partner. He might even begin to thwart every romantic route you might have in the future.
- Listing out reasons why you do not like him: this approach might portray you to be a snob. Listing out those characteristics you do not like and telling him might make him self conscious and even give him a low self esteem. In fact, he might get annoyed and resentful and take his annoyance on you. Most guys do not like to be told by girls they like that they don’t have the characteristics that make them attractive.
- Turning those guys into friends with benefit: okay, so this might sound and look like fun, but it isn’t. The downplay of this is that, you are gradually helping the guy in investing emotionally and physically in you. He approached you with the intent to date you, you rejected him but turned him into a friend and a bed mate. What do you expect to happen on the long run? It’s more or less like you have given him the ultimate stamp, the only thing remaining is just the word ‘boyfriend’. Don’t reject a romantic prospect this way.
After all has been said and done, do not feel guilty. The only way you can reduce the guilty pang is for you to reject the person in an affable and courteous manner.