I randomly stumbled on a piece – on a website called babe.net – during one of my Internet forages, and the whole point of it was to say that happiness in a relationship can only be achieved and sustained if you have a lil something on the side.

What this means is that he believes it is wise for women in relationships to have side guys to whom they can be married in “6 months” if their real boyfriends messes up.Though the chances are low, partners can move beyond cheating to have a happier relationship afterwards.

The man says his advice is influenced by the number of heartbreaks he has seen among women dumped by their boyfriends. He says that if a woman keeps a side guy during her relationship, she won’t feel so much heartache as she would have someone to fall back on.

Obviously, having a sideguy will be blatant cheating. Whether he’s a sideguy in the real sense of the word, that is, one who performs all boyfriend’s duties including sex, or one “who fits all your criteria of a husband material but is your platonic friend,” it is cheating.

If you’re hiding the whole of him from your boyfriend, it is wrong. If you introduce him to your man but hide your true intent for him from your man, it is still cheating.

When you choose to have a sideguy, either as a cushion for any potential dumping by your boyfriend, as revenge for your man’s cheating or for any other reason whatsoever, it is wrong.


The intent, no matter how noble or self-helpful, does not justify the act. Things like double-dating and keeping another partner on the side can be coated with all sorts of names and ultra-modern fancy words and excuses, but it still does not make it right.

Male or female, it is time everyone began to take commitment a little more seriously around here.

Without a blatant disregard for commitment on the part of men, advise like Joro’s won’t be thought about let alone voiced.